We're All In This Together

All of my babies sucked their thumbs from the time they were newborns. It’s a subconscious comfort technique, and to this day they’ll still often suck away while they’re sleeping. There were many times when people would say, “You need to break them of that habit - you don’t want them sucking their thumbs when they’re in middle school!”

When I was pregnant with my fourth boy and people found out the gender, their most common response was, “Are you going to try again for a girl?!?”

I can’t stop my infant baby from sucking his thumb, just like I can’t decide whether he’s a boy or a girl. There are many things that, as a parent, are out of my control.

Then there are those things that are in my control. What they eat and when, how much TV they watch, what clothes they wear, and how I discipline their behavior. Those are all my choices that as a parent I need to consciously think through.

Understanding those differences are a key aspect of parenting, and one that we often forget. I was reminded of this today when I checked Facebook and read this post:

Sitting in lab waiting room, people watching. Why do people insist on giving their infants bottles full of juice? Does this bother anyone else???

And here were the responses:

•  It doesn't bother me as much as sippy cups full of soda! :)
• That's why more and more kids have cavities. Tell everyone you know...Baby teeth MATTER!
• Um, YES!!! Dental hygienist here!
• Yes, and not to mention pre-disposition to diabetes later. :/
• That is a pet peeve of mine along w/ people who give their babies/toddlers bottles in their crib.
• We always watered down the juice. Also...Don't let the 3 and 4 year olds walk around with a bottle or pacifier! That is just plain laziness on the parent’s part! Wean them at a year old!
• Yes, it bothers me a great deal ...along with so many other issues..like a pacifier, our boys never had them and people wonder why their children are not speaking??
• Agreed...although Porter has a pacifier (only to sleep), if your child is old enough for juice, they are old enough for a sippy cup (with watered down no sugar added juice)!!!
• Bottle gone at 1 year and personally, I see nothing wrong with pacifiers to sleep until at the MOST 2.
• Reminds me of when I was at the laundry mat to wash my comforter....18 mo old walking around with a bottle of Coke, blew my mind.....then again Owen had his pacifier until 3 (only to sleep after a little under 2 :)
• That's ridiculous. Next thing you know she's gonna offer that wee babe a smoke. ;)
• I never gave juice in a bottle. If they are old enough for juice then they are old enough for a sippy cup. And hopefully it is more water then juice!
• How about a mom giving her 9 month old a slim Jim in the ER waiting room? I seriously wanted to get my neck punch on!!!
• [My response]: It doesn’t bother me at all. Maybe the baby needs juice for medical reasons. Maybe she can’t afford formula for all of the feeds. I always like to hope that moms support each other, understand that everyone’s situation is different, and know that we make the best choices we can for our individual kids and families.

Moms: We have to stick together. We have to assume innocence. We have to realize that there may be unknown back stories affecting other people’s choices.

At the end of all of the rants and raves, the original writer of that Facebook post commented a second time:

• Rebecca - You're right. Our job as moms is hard enough without outside criticism. I appreciate the positive thought! When I see stuff like that, though, I hope it is in the best interest of that child. All we can hope is that everyone does their best.

Here's to positive thoughts for us all.